Dr Love's Prescriptions for Love

2012 would have been a sad ending to the story of our world

Thank goodness the world did not end in 2012 because it would have been a sad ending to our story. Can you imagine reading the story about the development of mankind to a group of aliens from another universe? They might be impressed with our advancements in medicine, engineering, and technology, but they would be very disappointed in our development of human relations and in our progress of creating a civilized world. They would probably be shocked to learn how we have treated each other and how we have treated the planet. They might even ask if our story is based on a fictional horror movie. Unfortunately, we have experienced a violent history and if we want to change the future, we must acknowledge the past. Our early development of civilization was based on a “conquer and conquest” mentality and some of these barbaric scenes were brought back to life last year in the History Channel’s television series, “Mankind – The Story of All of Us”.  Although we have made some big strides forward, a review of 2012 will reveal that we have a long ways to go to put the kind back in mankind. There were terrible atrocities against women including the bullying and suicide of Amanda Todd; the shooting of Pakistani teenage activist Malala Yousufzai and the gang rape and murder of a 23-year-old student on a Delhibus. In 2012, we were subjected to more violent protests, human rights abuse issues, environmental degradation, animal cruelty, political conflicts, economic turmoil, and some terrible mass killings that shocked the world.  

The Newtown shooting tragedy blasted a hole in my heart

I received a distressing call from a colleague at work. She was weeping on the phone and my initial thoughts were that something must have happened to her elderly father. My attention heightened when she uttered something about another school shooting in theUS. I quickly turned on the television to witness CNN broadcasting frightening scenes of shocked little children running away from the massacre, as police officers stormed their school in a desperate search for the killer.  It was a tragedy that shocked the world. This senseless killing blasted a hole in my heart and etched a scar on my mind. I will never forget the sorrow that I felt for the innocent victims and their families. I am sure that most people went home that night and hugged their loved ones a little closer to their heart. There will be ongoing questions on why this tragedy and other mass shootings have happened in our civilized society. There will be endless debate on how these tragedies could have been prevented in the first place. It is going to take some time, patience, and cooperation to address the social problems, security concerns and the firearms issues. In the meantime, the families who have suffered the loss of their loved ones and the people who were traumatized by this tragedy need some healing time. Fortunately, the healing process started immediately inNewtownwith an outpouring of love, support, and compassion for the families and the community. Hopefully the memories of this tragedy and the other negative news events in 2012 will inspire some positive changes in 2013. Our world deserves more love and we can chart a new path for the human race, by choosing love now. 

Choosing love for your New Year’s Resolution could change your life and our world

Civilizations around the world have been celebrating the start of each New Year for at least four millennia. A common tradition includes making resolutions for the New Year and the most popular resolutions usually involve some form of self-improvement such as health, wealth, or fitness goals. Perhaps it is time to choose a New Year’s resolution that will inspire family-improvement, community-improvement, and world-improvement. Imagine what our world would be like if more people choose love in 2013? Could a collective resolution of love change the world for the better? If love can heal a broken heart then perhaps a large dose of love could heal the rift between countries, cultures, or enemy lines. Perhaps we are here to learn about the power of love? Love is the common thread that can tie all of us together regardless of our age, social status, ethnicity, beliefs, or physical location. We could become a world of approximately seven billion brothers and sisters. Love is the foundation for creating peace, harmony, and compassion in the world. Love is the world’s most important renewable energy source and it will shine brightly, when we choose to turn the power on. A newborn child beams love because they have not had the power of their love turned off by negative experiences or negative news events. Are you ready to regain your birth right? All you have to do is choose love now! Your life will change and our world will change as the power of love enlightens the human race. It is easy, it is good for you, and it is good for others. You can start now by expressing your love in your thoughts, words, and actions. The loving gesture of theNew Yorkpolice officer who gave a new pair of boots to a barefoot homeless man in November 2012, should give us hope for humanity in 2013 and beyond.      

Would you like to soften up your man?

Does he have a few hard edges that you would like to file down? Perhaps you would like to help him remove the crust from around his emotions? Or maybe his stiff redneck needs a little massaging and cleansing? If you have noticed that his softer side has hardened from too much Monday night football and testosterone, then you might want to consider softening him up by inviting him home to M.A.S. This is a welcoming home place where guys can be nourished, pampered, and rejuvenated. This is not a gentlemen’s club, rather it is a place that can transform a rough man into a gentle man. Ladies, do not be afraid because softening up your man will not make him weak. This transformation will actually strengthen his male core and balance his manhood. He will become more compassionate, caring, and loving. Does this sound like the kind of man that you would like to come home to?

 Why M.A.S. is a welcome retreat from Man Camps?

Most guys have probably experienced the sickening hangover feelings and the numerous body aches from indulging in too much fun at Man Camps. These testosterone-fuelled camps are great for adult entertainment and male bonding, but men usually need several days to recover after attending sporting road trips, fishing excursions, and/or outdoor adventure weekends. The refreshments and cuisine at Man Camps typically consists of unlimited liquid barley and spicy over-cooked foods cooked by unshaven butt scratching volunteers. The activities consist of late night poker, beer can arm curls, early morning bodily runs and some classic Youtube “watch this guys” moments. If Man Camps provide an opportunity for guys to play hard with their male energy, then M.A.S. are the perfect places for men to soften up and balance their masculine/feminine energy. Women intuitively know the importance of attending these healing places and now curious men are venturing into spas and retreats. However, not all spas are created equal for both genders and men need to feel comfortable and accepted at these traditionally female only escapes. Some spa owners have recognized the need for Man Approved Spas (M.A.S.) and they are now catering to their new masculine clientele.

 Are you ready to invite your man home to M.A.S.?

Women can feel comfortable about inviting their man home to M.A.S. because men are discovering and enjoying the benefits from attending spas and women are reaping the rewards. It is a win-win situation. Attending M.A.S. is a great way to heal the body, mind, and soul and a “healed” husband leads to a happy and satisfied wife. The nutritious foods and the healthy elixirs helps to detoxify and heal men from the inside out. During the M.A.S. treatments, the soreness is rubbed out of their body, stress is steamed off in eucalyptus saunas, their skin is cleansed in mud baths, and their faith is restored in the healing hands of caring practitioners. Although spas can offer these rejuvenating benefits for men, they might need to be enticed to attend with caring invitations. Especially, since some guys might not be ready yet to come out of their “Man Camps” and step into the comfort of M.A.S. You can help your man make healthy choices by simply tucking a spa gift certificate into his tackle box. He might pretend to be embarrassed at first, but his fishing friends will be curious and envious when they see their healthy, happy, and rejuvenated friend at the next Man Camp.  

My dad was my superhero when I was a young boy. He would comfort me when I was afraid of the dark. He would make me laugh when I was sad and he would prop me up when I was down. He showed me how to fish and he forgave me when I lodged a fishhook in his left ear. My dad taught me how to play hockey and to be a good sport. He was my mentor and he charted an inspiring course for me to follow in life. He was a caring father, a loving husband, a dedicated volunteer fireman, a popular minor hockey coach and a dear friend to those in need. He was a man of service and he truly earned his superhero status. I did not fully appreciate the contributions he made in life, until it was too late.  

 Why do teenagers think they know more than their dad does? I knew it was time to leave the comfortable home nest, when my dad and I started to butt heads. It was a typical father/know-it-all teenager relationship and we needed to separate in order to save the relationship. My “go west young man” calling and a six-day long train ride across the country resulted in a 5,000-kilometer separation. My mom longed for me with open tears, while my dad quietly missed his youngest son. It was an awakening of appreciation and gratitude for me. I did not realize how good I had it at home, until I had to start doing my own laundry and restocking the refrigerator. My dad was secretly proud of me for not returning home after six months with my hat in hand. Through a series of caring phone calls and intimate letters, our father/son relationship healed over time.

 Superheroes are not supposed to die. He had complained about a sore back for over a year. His stubbornness to seek help was a weakness in his strong character. I was in my third year of university when the shocking news came. My mom was sobbing uncontrollably as she tried to relay the doctor’s diagnosis. The late discovery of cancer became terminal and it would only grant him another three to six months to live. It did not seem fair that my superhero was fighting a loosing battle. I remember hanging up the phone and appreciating my dad more than I ever did before. The memories came flooding back with tears and sorrow. I felt some guilt and shame for the stress that I had caused him during those awkward teenage years. I wanted to make him proud and I felt cheated out of our future together. He would not be at my graduation and he would not hold his future grandson.

What do you say to your dad when you know he is dying? I flew home to see him one last time. As I marched into the palliative care ward, my mom warned me that he was slowly slipping away. The cancer had eaten away at his vitality. It was hard to look at the weakened shell of my once strong and proud superhero. I felt helpless and lost in the moment. I stood by his bed and held his hand and I whispered in his ear that I loved him. My father never really expressed his emotions. Like most men of his era, he usually kept his feelings bottled up inside his male pride. I reached down and hugged him close. I felt his protruding ribs, our hearts merged and something broke inside. My dad’s tears poured out and I melted towards the door. It was an emotionally draining goodbye, as my dad cried out, “I love you too son”!

 Father’s day will come and go, but my dad’s legacy will continue on. At the end of the funeral, there was a long line of fire fighters, dignitaries, friends, and family members who paraded by, to pay their last respect to my dad. He was only fifty-four years old and I still think of him everyday. I would do anything to share one more laugh or cast one more fishing line together. If your dad is still here, please consider paying a living tribute to him. Call him, write him a letter, poke him on Facebook, tweet that you love him, link-in to his heart, or better yet, pay him a visit. My dad’s legacy will continue on and it will be reflected on how I live my life. If there was one thing that I wish my dad had done more often, it would have been to say, “I love you”. He showed me love, but he had a difficult time expressing love with words, until it was too late. It is my turn now. Dear dad, “I miss you”. Dear son, “I love you”.

Do you want to have a happy husband? I have a simple suggestion for women and it does not involve feeding or pleasing your man. Instead you get to send him away to man camp where he will experience his own form of happiness. Men already know the importance of these male enhancing sabbaticals. Fortunately, more and more women are enjoying the fruits of their happy camper husbands. I will share some of the intimate details and I will point out the benefits of attending these testosterone-fuelled camps.

 Man camps are good medicine for men. Regular attendance enhances masculine energy, reduces symptoms of stress, facilitates male bonding, and improves wilderness survival skills. Most men have an inherent desire to get back to nature. We can satisfy this need by going on fishing and hunting trips, outdoor adventures, and weekend get-a-ways with the guys. The activities help us improve our athletic ability, exercise our competitive nature, and release our pent up frustrations. The wilderness camps are also great places for personal growth, spiritual awakening and for grounding our egos. The meal plans and the hydration choices at man camps might not seem very healthy, but the laughter and the fun times are very complimentary for men.

 Why man camps are good for women too? The obvious benefits for women are a quiet clean house and a break from their husbands. This might not seem very fair, but when we are away, you get to play. My wife usually takes these opportunities to decorate and rearrange our home to her liking. It is a small price to pay and she also earns and deserves her own women weekend get-a-ways. The time away from each other can be good for the relationship too. Since absence makes the heart grow fonder, most men will develop an appreciation for their wives and for the comforts of home.

 Men need women to endorse man camps. We need your approval, support and some guilt free passes to attend our man camps. The benefits and the in-cabin training will be more effective, if we can leave our guilt and shame baggage at home. Please send us off with good wishes, refrain from checking up on us and welcome us home with a big “I missed you hug”. We would also appreciate minimal interrogation and fewer questions, such as “So what did you guys do this weekend?” The code of our brotherhood is that what we remember at man camp stays at man camp. Our immature behaviour wounds will heal and you will eventually be subjected to most of the man camp stories anyways. I can assure you that there is nothing very appealing to report. Our language is atrocious; our jokes are in bad taste; our activities are sketchy and there are more bodily sounds and smells than you would find at a chili-eating contest!

 Guys, before you grab your free ticket to camp, you need to subscribe to the rules of being a good husband. It is important to show your appreciation with good behaviour, gifts of gratitude, and loving gestures before you leave for camp, and especially when you return. Do not take advantage of your man camp passes because a high attendance record is not an honourable feat. Recognize that you have priorities and responsibilities at home and a balanced lifestyle is the ultimate goal. For instance, a romantic weekend get-a-way with your wife, and a midweek golf game with your friends could be a good compromise. Women deserve a loving, caring, and happy husband and man camps do breed happy husbands. 

The fact that this article was written by a man should give you some hope for mankind. I want to assure you that there was no ulterior motive to score some brownie points with my wife. Nor was I sponsored by any women groups to write this article. I simply wanted to offer some practical advice for women because men deserve the help and you deserve the rewards. Inspiring a husband with benefits will result in happy and harmonious relationships. It will also result in more positive role models for younger men. Your inspiration will affect future generations and we are ready to be inspired. Are you ready to accept the challenge?

Today’s man has to be equipped with more tools in his toolbox. In my dad’s era it was rare to see a man pushing a baby carriage down the street. My father was the ‘bread earner” while my mother was a “stay at home” mom. The husband/wife roles have evolved in our high cost of living society. It is the norm for both spouses to work and to share in the responsibilities for tending the home and raising the children. Unfortunately, there are no accredited apprenticeship programs for this new role for men. We have had to develop these skills during on-the-job training and some women might point out that we have been slow learners. Fortunately, men love a challenge and we can be trained with your caring mentoring, motivation, and inspiration.

How would you define a “husband with benefits”? This designation might include being a good listener, trusted friend, caring father, thorough cleaner, productive provider, sexy man, or an attentive lover. You can decide what benefits are important to you. The key is to inspire your husband to develop, enhance, and display those benefits on a regular basis. This might sound like a challenging task, but have faith that all old dogs can be trained with the right motivation. It is not what you think. Although we do like special treats, short-term motivation will not inspire long-term changes. A husband with benefits needs to be nurtured over time. Eventually we will perform in every room and in all responsibilities of the house.

You have us right where you want us. Men love to win and we are driven by our competitive nature. You can inspire us to be a loving husband with benefits by encouraging us to win your heart. Tell us what pleases you and compliment us when we succeed. The benefits will become mutual. You might arrive at home to a clean house and a home-cooked dinner, or you might receive a kids-free spa day, or be treated to a romantic picnic, or you might find your favorite flowers on the counter. However, please be aware that things will not be very rosy at home, if you beat your husband down with constant criticisms and nagging. You might have experienced the deafening male silence, the “bad boy” behaviour, or the stubborn mule of a man. We do not respond positively to negative treatment. A husband with benefits needs to be born out of love. You have the ability to raise us up to meet your expectations and we are willing, able, and ready to unleash our potential. This might not happen over night, so please be patient and remember that practice makes perfect.

I am grateful for my mother. I look up and give thanks to my mom for shaping me into a better man. Although she lost her battle with dementia over sixteen years ago, I feel her influence shining in my life every day. She was only sixty-four years young when she left a lifetime of lessons on my heart. I can still hear her caring voice when I am feeling sick, or when I need a little extra encouragement. I also hear her loud lecturing voice when I brush crumbs onto the floor, or when I let the dog clean my dirty plate. A mother’s advice never leaves our heart or our consciousness, especially when it is imprinted with love. I wonder if most women are aware of the power they possess to shape boys into becoming better men.

Why do young boys want to please their mother? Perhaps the maternal connection is so strong that boys do not want to separate from their mother’s love. Young innocent boys strive for their mother’s acceptance and approval. I grew up with my mother’s pride in my back pocket. She always encouraged me to be kind to others, to love my family and friends, to treat animals and nature with respect and to have fun in life. Her gentle caring soul, warm smile, and soft laughter confirmed that she was teaching me by example. I grew up with a willingness and desire to please my mother.

A mother’s care and love can influence the destiny of men. Eventually all little boys grow up, however not all boys become good husbands, fathers and citizens. Those early childhood lessons and experiences can have a profound effect as we mature into adulthood. My mom told me that my good habits would support me in life and my bad traits would hold me back. She taught me that a man with manners, good hygiene, and honed husband skills would be in big demand. She constantly reminded me that “cleaning my room” was good training for me. Now I know what she meant because I take pride in my vacuuming skills and my wife winks in approval. It is the little things that can make a better man.

Honouring and respecting women is one of the most important lessons that mothers can teach their sons. All little boys need to grow up with this essential life skill. My mother was quick to correct my behaviour when I was mean or disrespectful towards my sister. Sibling teasing and rivalry were common occurrences in our home, but I knew that there was a line not to be crossed. During one particular battle over toys, I stepped over the fateful line and I hit my sister. I felt immediate shame and remorse. My mother’s disappointment and discipline confirmed that I had broke a cardinal rule. It was an important childhood lesson that has had far-reaching implications in my life. In manhood I support women’s rights issues and the movement to end violence against women. Woman are patiently waiting for this shift to a world that embraces gender respect and equality. They need our help and men can play a starring role in this reality show. It is never too late to shape a man into a better man, but mothers know that it is easier to start with boys. Thank you mom; for encouraging me to put the “kind” back into mankind.

Dear ladies, have you ever wondered where all of the romantic loving men have gone? Perhaps you were once married to one or you are currently searching for a romantic loving man (RLM) or maybe you are patiently waiting for your husband to stand up and don his romantic cape. Do not give up hope because most men have the potential to become a RLM.

“Men always want to be a woman’s first love; women like to be a man’s last romance.” Oscar Wilde

• A romantic loving man cannot be erected over night

A romantic loving man cannot be erected over night by popping a little blue pill. It is not about sex. It is about sharing unconditional love, passion, and romance. Building unconditional self-love is the foundation for becoming a romantic loving man. This “universal love principle” states that you cannot love someone unconditionally until you learn to love yourself unconditionally first. Does this love principle make sense to you? How can you truly love someone else, if you do not love yourself? A romantic loving man is full of unconditionally love. He is humble and compassionate and he accepts others for who they are. It is important to make the distinction between self-love and selfish love. An “Ego Maniac” man is full of himself because he embraces a selfish form of love. He is capable of love, but his love is conditional and it is usually expressed with selfish intentions. He walks around with a “me first attitude” and he has trouble finding hats to fit his swollen head. Men need to learn that size does matter – the size of our hearts.

• Men cannot “make love” alone

We can golf by ourselves, fish in solitude and hike in silence but we cannot “make love” without your help. We need your assistance to help us open our hearts and reclaim our birth right as romantic loving men. Your loving compliments and encouraging words will help us rise up to meet your expectations and achieve our potential as romantic loving men. Here are some important “dos” and “don’ts” for massaging the romance out of your man:

• Do look for opportunities to compliment us. We appreciate and we respond to the small pats on our male manes. You can help build us up by acknowledging our progress and accomplishments. Try to catch us in the act of doing good things like “cleaning up without being asked” or “changing diapers in the middle of the night without waking you up to brag about it” or “bringing you flowers just because we care”.
• Do not criticize us in public or in front of the members of our male pride. We get defensive when our manhood is assaulted. You may have experienced our revengeful behavior if you cut us down with “he never cleans up”, or “he acts like an idiot” or “he can’t fix anything”, or “he used to be a good lover”.
• Do communicate with us like you are talking to a child. You may have noticed that we are not very astute at reading between the lines or interpreting your feelings. Most men need clear and concise direction based on the K.I.S.S. principle, Keep It Simple Sister. If you want to be heard and understood, then try communicating with men like you are talking to a child. Tell us what you want, make us a detailed list and be prepared to remind us. This will not undermine our intelligence or hurt our manly pride because we want to understand you. We prefer to avoid conflict and as you know, communication breakdowns are a common cause of relationship warfare.
• Do tell us that we look sexy when we are caught doing household chores. We will entertain and serve you as we proudly model are vacuuming and cleaning talents. On occasion, you can acknowledge our efforts with your affection but be careful that you do not reward us every time, for something that we should be doing anyways. Making love should occur naturally in a loving and intimate relationship. If men associate sex with a reward system, then we will manipulate the situation in our favor and in our desired time. If you throw a dog a bone every time he is a “good boy”, he will show up with a silly grin and wagging his tail looking for another expected treat!
• Do help us become better lovers. Most men want to be great lovers, but first we need to find good teachers. Are you willing to show and tell your man what pleases you? Are you able to share your intimate needs and desires? Would you like to stop faking it and start making it? Are you ready to train your man to become a romantic lover? We are waiting patiently for your loving guidance.

“Love is a game that two can play and both can win.”, Eva Gardner

Perhaps you have experienced a rocky path with men and you are feeling reluctant to massage the romance out of your man? Trust that this massage treatment will have a happy ending for you and your relationship. You will probably be rewarded with a husband with benefits too. On behalf of all men, we look forward to your loving touch to help us become the romantic loving man of your dreams!

It is a good thing that we have this “love reminder” once a year! Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for all of us to really appreciate the ones we love. With the scent of cut flowers, sparkling heart decorations and mouth-watering chocolates, it is hard not to notice this special day.

How important is this love day?

Valentine’s Day is definitely good for business and I am sure the retail stores need the sales boost, especially after the January lull of spent Christmas shoppers. However, Valentine’s Day fulfills a much bigger role in our society. It simply allows us to focus our attention on love.

Do we make enough time for love?

Let’s face it; we are a busy bunch. We have too many commitments in our daily planner and not enough hours in our day. Unfortunately, when we get busy, we tend to have less time for our loved ones. How much time are you currently spending with your loved ones, compared to five years ago?

Our priorities can get out of balance when we find ourselves “working to live”. It can take a toll on our relationships when we allow ourselves to get stuck on life’s treadmill. Thank goodness for February 14, because this day helps to remind us of our real priorities. Work can wait and appointments can be postponed, because love needs our attention now.

What we focus on becomes our reality.

Love needs to be our focus because love is the key to more happiness, better health, more prosperity, and more harmony in our lives. Perhaps we should celebrate Valentine’s Day every day because we need and deserve those daily expressions of love.

This special day is not just for intimate lovers. Although the florists and gift stores depend on us to spoil our intimate partner, we also need to express our love to everyone else around us. Love becomes contagious when we open our hearts and turn our love on.

Have you been in a room with an angry person? How did it feel? Could you feel the tension and the negative vibes? Love lifts us up and makes us feel good.

Are you ready to turn our love on? A kind word, a loving act, and a thoughtful gesture will help us celebrate Valentine’s Day, every day.

“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.”